He continues to debate the possibilities of fractured memory, hallucination, or ghost. As far as a fractured memory goes, she fits this place, this situation, too perfectly. And if she's a figment of his imagination, why would he imagine a woman the opposite of what he is normally attracted to?
He thought he liked tall, Nordic women with fair hair and their skin sun-pinkened from the outdoor life. But this female's tiny and pale, not much over five feet tall. Her hair is black as night. During his harsh human life, he would've scarcely spared a pitying glance at her, predicting the delicate girl wouldn't last though the next winter in their war-torn country. And she hadn't survived long. She appears to be no more than in her early twenties. If ghosts were born of violence, then how had she met her end so young? She wouldn't have if she'd had a strong protector. I was strong. He stifles a low growl. I'd have kept her safe if she'd been mine. Maybe he wouldn't have predicted her doom over the winter and turned away. Maybe he would've approached her. In his rough way, he could have attempted to garner the position as her protector. He was a skilled officer. He'd been born a nobleman - and at least before the Great War, that had meant something. Perhaps she would have accepted him. My God, to have had such a woman in my keeping... to have taken her each night. He can imagine what that would be like. During the day, his nightmares have been varied with strange new dreams of pinning her arms over her head and mounting her luscious little body. There's a line... there's a line... Could this woman possibly be real? This would mean that not only is the ghost not imagined - it would mean he's gone three days without a single hallucination. A hundred years have passed since that happened last. Which would mean, he might be... healing. Like a starburst between his eyes, he finally remembers what he'd regretted, what he'd coveted so badly - Nikolai and Sebastian enter then, their expressions grim. Why is Nikolai holding a syringe? In a tone low with warning, he says, "What's the goddamned shot for? I haven't done anything." "No, but we fear you will," Nikolai says. "We need to take you from the room - and this will keep you from getting hurt." When Nikolai nears, he yells, "Get the fucking thing away from me, Nikolai!" He doesn't want to be mindless, can't have that happen again. "No!" I don't want her to see me like that. "Damn you, I said no!" 9 N