“I won’t.” She made a face. “Now back to your outfit—what are you going to wear?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to be too obvious. Especially because he has a girlfriend.”
“He doesn’t have a girlfriend. He just went on a few dates with that girl.”
“He went on a few dates?” I said quickly. “How do you know?”
“Well, I only know about the one,” Liv responded. “But I assume they went out more than once, right?”
“I guess.” I groaned. “Why does that ho have to be after my man?” I looked at Liv’s giggling face and groaned again. “I’m horrible, aren’t I? I bet she’s a great girl and here I am calling her a ho. She’s nothing like a ho.”
“Oh?”
“She went to Dartmouth for undergrad,” I said quickly. “And she has a pet dog and a hamster and she enjoys playing racquetball.”
“Huh?” Liv’s eyes widened. “How do you know all that?”
“Google is my friend.” I laughed. “Plus, she has a blog where she talks about her life.” I rolled my eyes. “And she has photos of Frodo, her hamster, and Blackie, her dog.”
“Please don’t tell me her dog is black.”
“He is.” I nodded and giggled. “Who calls their black dog Blackie?”
“So unoriginal,” Liv agreed. “She has to go. You’re much better for Aiden.”
“Yeah, right. I doubt he thinks so.”
“He’s an idiot,” she said and pulled out her phone as it beeped. “Okay, that was Aiden, he’ll be here at seven-ish.”
“Oh my God. What am I going to wear?” I squealed. “And does he know I’ll be here?”
“Of course he knows,” Liv said. “Where else would you be?”
“Yeah,” I said weakly. “Where else would I be?”
***
I waited at the coffee shop two blocks away from our apartment for Liv to text me to let me know that Aiden had arrived. We’d decided that I wouldn’t be at the apartment when he arrived. Instead, I’d arrive back home about thirty minutes after he arrived and talk about my hot date.
I have to admit I felt like a bit of a tart, sitting in the coffee shop in my short black mini-skirt and short white top, with my red push-up bra and high heels. I could see an old man in the corner of the store staring at me, his eyes moving up and down my body as if I were a fine piece of art that was to be looked over microscopically so that he didn’t miss any tiny details.
I sipped on my now-cold latte and stared at the screen on my phone, hoping that Liv would just hurry up and text me. Already I was regretting the lies I was going to be telling Aiden when I arrived back home. I wasn’t even sure he’d believe me. I mean, who goes for a date in a black mini skirt and arrives back home at 7:30 p.m.? I knew that when I arrived back home, he was either going to think I was a whore or a liar, and I wasn’t exactly pleased with either of those options.
“Good evening, ma’am.” A deep voice sounded next to me, and I looked up to see the old man standing beside me. I tried not to cringe as I smelled him and looked into his wrinkly face. He looked even older than I’d thought before. He was in his late sixties and had scraggly grey hair and a missing tooth.
“Hello,” I said lightly, my voice coming out as a squeak.
“How much, then?” He sat down in the chair across from me and winked.
“Sorry?” I frowned and turned my face slightly to the right. He really did smell bad, like rotten eggs.
“How much?” he said again and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. “What does twenty get me?”
“What does twenty get you?” I repeated dumbly. Yes, I just might be the dumbest and most immature twenty-two-year-old in the world.
“A blowjob or some titty action as well?” His voice lowered and I gasped.
“What?” I stood up, feeling enraged. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”
“Uhm?” He looked around with a somewhat frightened face, which I thought was ironic. Wasn’t I the one who should look frightened? He was the one coming up to me and acting as if I were a prostitute.
“Get out of here, you dirty old man!” I said more loudly, and I could see a young couple in the corner looking at us with big eyes and awkward smiles. Ugh! I was so annoyed that I grabbed my coffee and left the store. I was mad at myself for having gone along with Liv’s idea. It was stupid and I didn’t even think that Aiden would care if he thought I’d been on a date. On what sort of date would I be going out looking like a hooker, but making it home before 8 p.m.? Only a lame date, and what was there to be jealous of if the date sucked?
I got into my car and drove home feeling bummed. I turned on the radio and smiled as I heard “I’m Not the Only One” playing. I sang along with Sam Smith and tried to keep my mind off of how much my life was sucking. I wasn’t sure why I was so bad in relationships. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t approach Aiden and just be normal. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t just flirt and be honest. I think it had to do with my childhood, which seemed to be everyone’s story.
My father had left my mother and me when I was two. I couldn’t really even remember him, if I was honest. My mother had remarried when I was four and my stepfather had adopted me. He even treated me as if I were his kid, and I loved him and called him dad. However, I always wondered about my real dad. I hadn’t seen him since I was two. When he’d left, he’d never looked back. It hadn’t really hit me until I was fifteen. When I was fifteen, I decided I wanted to find him, so I looked him up online and was able to locate him. I’d called him and found out that he had a new family and two more children. He’d said he was going to call me back and we would go to dinner. He never called, but I didn’t give up. I called him back and he said he’d have me over for Sunday lunch to meet the family. He’d said to call him back in a few days to get the address. I’d called and the number had been disconnected and I’d never heard from him again. I hadn’t tried to make contact with him again either. I knew that deep inside of me there was pain that emanated from my father’s rejection, but I tried not to dwell on it. Instead, I tried to look at the bright side of life, the fun side of life. I tried to be goofy and to laugh and to just ignore the things that made me feel bad. However, now it wasn’t so easy.
35
